UGH. GODDAMNIT. Looks like they don’t make my favourite lipstick anymore. I don’t WANT to have to go makeup shopping. Fuck.

Kind: Note Tags: Journal 2 comments 155 reposts

Today I was both sides of understanding.

This morning after arriving in the city on the train I had to visit three separate chemists to find one that kept my anti-androgens in stock. Then when I got to work i realized I had left my estrogen at home. Later in the day I had clients tell say to me in our first phone conversation “and now we know you’re a male!” so i had to have a little conversation with them about how i just sound like a make because I’m a transwoman which was not amazing but they were very good about it.
In the afternoon the movie plans i had with friends got downgraded to hangout plans which was fine, i just needed to see people but then the hangouts got cancelled due to drama so I went home and planned to spend the evening curled up on the couch watching Star Wars but my mood quickly caught up with me and so, staring at the heater so fucking intently I managed to control myself and text our amazing neighbours across the road and ask if I could come hang out with them as it might be dangerous for me to be alone again. They were lovely, made me dinner and then sat and chatted about all sorts of things until it was time for me to get home to bed. Once I was home I checked Twitter and saw that a transwoman I admire who is recovering from SRS is really struggling with her recovery and was saying that despite not being religious she would really appreciate the prayers of any religious followers. I’m not religious but I talk a big game about the importance of religious practice without religious faith. So I sat down, closed my eyes and fucking prayed. I prayed for her strength, for hope and for peace.
It occurs to me now that i found that very valuable even for me and I should definitely do that more and that I wouldn’t mind somehow leading prayer again one day.

I slept too little too late (30%)
I ate other people’s food (50%)
I didn’t exercise (0 mins)
I didn’t meditate (0 mins)

Tomorrow I have an endo and I’m really hoping I can get my dosage interested if I’m honest with myself.

On phone at work with client:
Them: “And now we know you’re a male!”
Me: “No, I’m not… I’m a transwoman.”
Them: “Oh! Ok…”

Fuck me. Fuck telephones.

Kind: Note Tags: Journal 1 comment 155 reposts
Had to visit three pharmacies before finding one that would fill my prescription this morning.

It had never occurred to me that you might not be able to get a script filled because they don’t keep something in stock, I assumed all chemists had some kind of magic drug goblin out back that just summoned medication from the ether.

image

Today I was nourished.

I didn’t wear any makeup while working from home today, I slept in a little late for that. It felt a bit weird but I matched on through a weird feeling day anyway, in the afternoon however I got in a couple of really nice Twitter contestations and then went for a walk with my Mum which was super lovely. When we got back from the walk though there was a bunch of flowers waiting for me on the doorstep! Emily had sent me flowers for my five month HRT anniversary and they’re beautiful and you can smell the fresias and in just love enjoy so much, she’s so perfect to me. I spent the rest of the afternoon working on Monadnock to get it to a stage where it would be valuable to take it to tonight’s playtesting event to the point of not getting to let BMO out for a fly which I had been wanting to do. I did get the bare basics version if what I wanted done though so I got changed and headed into the city and took it to the playtesting event which was super good. I got a bunch of really good feedback and saw how the changes is made worked or didn’t work.

After the event Chris, Catherine and I went to celebrate my HRT anniversary at the pancake kitchen and ended up grabbing @hazmatt2391 and @cfantarella along the way which was neat because they were really interested in RPG stuff which I was more than happy to rag on about for ages. Eventually though we had to head home, a cold trip made more bearable with Taylor Swift and Imogen Heap.

I slept in a little (65%)
I ate pretty poorly (45%)
I exercised with mum (40 mins)
I didn’t meditate (0 mins)

Tomorrow I’m really scared I’m gonna be too tired to do things at work but am definitely looking forward to going to the movies with J&E in the evening.