Today I was a hero.

I worked from home today because I need to be at the office and I managed to be vaguely productive despite being sick which I count as an achievement. By the end of it though I was feeling pretty totalled but when Emily rang to say her train back from the city had been stopped by a power outage half way home I managed to bundle myself up and into the car and head off to rescue her despite warnings on Twitter from the beureau of meteorology saying a server weather storm would peak within the hour, all the more reason not to leave Emily stranded waiting for a replacement bus. In the end we avoided the storm hit, or it wasn’t as bad as forecast but I still felt like a hero rescuing my princess. We headed home, let BMO out for a play and then cuddled up on the couch as Emily began prepping her GM material for her first Torchbearer game which is super exiting while I continued the adventures of Nathan Drake on the PS4 and oh my gosh is it a great game. The character drama and the writing is outright amazing and there are just so many moments where I go”holy shit” at the beauty or tension or fun I’m having. I’m fucking loving the relationship between Nate and Elena, it gives me all the feels. I found Elena super annoying when I first encountered get in Uncharted 2 but since then she’s just gotten better and better and now she’s definitely my favorite character in Uncharted 4. Based on the pacing I’m pretty sure I’m close to the end and I just don’t want it to end but I trust Naughty Dog to execute the finale well.

At this late point in the evening though, as I’m feeling wretched I am finally willing to admit that I may be actually sick instead of just having a passing irritation.

I slept roughly, interrupted and shallow (40%)

I ate what was convenient (40%)

I didn’t exercise (0 mins)

I didn’t meditate (0 mins)

Tomorrow I’m working in town but only till one so I just hope my sickness doesn’t make that suck.

Today I snuggled Emily on the couch.

This morning we slept in and then I had a nice long shower and doesn’t time fixing my eyebrows and hair and makeup to get myself feeling gorgeous. Emily made bacon and eggs for breakfast and we settled in on the couch. I played Uncharted 4 for most of the day with Emily sitting with me watching and resting as she tries to nurse herself through laryngitis. We visited the doctor in the afternoon and then went and grabbed things from the shop like chocolate and tea. Heading out into the weather was pretty intense and we were happy to get back home, we managed to avoid all the sideways hail and similarly ridiculous precipitation but the wind was still incredibly strong and cold. We basically then didn’t the rest of the afternoon back in our couch pile. I played some more Uncharted 4 because it’s so good and Emily likes watching me play it. References to two of my favorite games of all time made me lose it in the most fangirly way and we both spend ages commenting on how well designed or detailed or beautiful the game is. Highlights from tonight include sniping two gentlemen, one after another, while swinging on a rope and later leaping onto another gentleman from behind, removing his hat and then disappearing into the bushes before he could work out what was happening, leaving him to decide that it must have been the wind or his imagination. Once we reached a suitable break point in the adventures of Nathan Drake we opened the chocolate and made tea and settled in to get started watching Michiko & Hatchin. I struggled a little with the first episode for some reason but now I’m pretty onboard, especially as Michiko is exactly the kind of character I have a tendency to want to emulate, even if I never do.

I slept nicely if interrupted (80%)

I ate super tasty things (80%)

I didn’t exercise (0 mins)

I didn’t meditate (0 mins)

Tomorrow I am working from home because I’ve swapped out with Tuesday so the plan is to do my work but keep the day as relaxed as possible.

Today I GMed twice.

I woke up pleasantly this morning after a nice sleep and into a sunny morning, I was on track to be on time for my first appointment of the day until I had a little post shower crash. It’s still odd to me how vulnerable I am during and then immediately after a shower. It doesn’t feel like being triggered but there’s obviously something going on there. I got myself back together relatively quickly and was up and running DungeonWorld for the Widget crowd by eleven. Today’s DungeonWidget session was really awesome. It was nice and dramatic, everyone was invested and involved and we finished on time with an epic battle and some decent resolution. We had to dash pretty quickly after the game wrapped up to the launch of an art exhibition at Red Poles for SALA that has some of Emily’s art in it. We hung around for the required amount of time, listened to the speeches, saw the art and chatted to some people before rushing back home again for more role-playing games. This time we had Damon around and played Splintering Wheel with him and Sarah and Emily and it was great. It was really nice to get back to that world and those characters and the feeling if GMing from that place of total confidence and trust in myself because I know that game. We had a really cool interesting adventure, once again stemming from Justice’s penchant for wild party shenanigans. We didn’t have to leave town, we answered a lot of long-standing questions I had about some mysteries around town and we even finished at a reasonable hour despite starting late. Thanks to my players in both games today, it was intense but I a lot of fun.

I slept real nicely (90%)

I ate alright (70%)

I didn’t exercise (0 mins)

I didn’t meditate (0 mins)

Tomorrow is mostly about relaxing with a couple of chores and errands thrown in but we’re having eggs and bacon for breakfast for ultimate Sunday feel.

I love the way Emily will start giggling at a picture of an animal and then when I ask what it is she’ll show me, start giggling more, describe the picture, increase giggling and then just keep describing the picture of the animal and giggling until I turn away.

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Today I wore myself out with nonsense.

When I got to work this morning I had a clear idea of what I was going to do during the day. That rapidly evaporated however as I discovered things weren’t going to work the way I had imagined and so I was left with a workday where during the day I didn’t really have enough to work on so I kept getting distracted by a conversation on twitter about positive gamedev communities. Eventually when things did line up so that I could be properly productive it was just before the time I would normally leave work so that’s how I ended up doing 7 hours without a lunchbreak instead of five today. Apparently during those seven hours the weather decided to turn from it’s initial state of “overcast but bearable” to “fuck you, lady” and tried to physically destroy me with wind on my way between the office, train and car.

I went straight from the train station to the car to Cammi’s house for dinner and Star Wars Edge Of The Empire. Kira’s running the adventures of the crew of the S.S. Legal Activities and it’s the first time she’s ever GMed so whenever she stumbles I feel this real need to help her out and take up a bit of the slack but at the same time I don’t want to take over the story or make her feel like we don’t think she’s doing a good job because I’ve seen some way worse first time GMs in my time. We had a bunch of fun in our Star War, stealing droids and getting into a little bit of drug related murder which my Abbi was completely oblivious to lest her image of the crew as a happy family fall apart and her mental health with it. I started to get pretty sleepy towards the end of the game which sucked because I was having fun but having trouble staying engaged as my body demanded sleep so as soon as we were done I jumped into my car, temporarily roused by the bitter weather and made my way home through the nightmare wind to bundle up in bed and try and sleep through the storm.

I didn’t sleep amazingly (70%)
I ate erratically and poorly (30%)
I didn’t exercise (0 mins)
I didn’t meditate (0 mins)

Tomorrow I have a crazy amount of GMing to do with one game in the morning and another in the evening. I just hope it’s creative and fun and not mentally exhausting.

I want to take a quick moment to comment on the @IGDASA launch on Wednesday and why it left me feeling a little uneasy. I don’t want to criticise IGDASA directly, I’m incredibly excited to see it happening and I think it’s a really important development for the adelaide gamedev community but the event on Wednesday made me feel like something was a little off. During a conversation on twitter earlier today the point was made about the importance of diverse definitions of success within developer communities in order for them to remain open, accessible and diverse and I think that’s the thing that I feel was missing from Wednesday’s event. The whole evening I felt like there was this weird assumption that commercial success was the most important kind of success and that we were all there to help each other achieve that particular form of success. During the speeches I felt like more time and energy was spent talking about the industry, customers and games as products than about the community, audiences and games as connection between human beings. I understand that IGDA is a professional organisation, for people who want to earn their living in games, which requires some focus on the business side of things, but the problem is that Adelaide is a little town, and the name IGDA has a lot of weight behind it and, intentional or not, simply by existing IGDASA puts a flag down and says “this is the center of the gamedev community now.” The problem is that our existent vibrant, diverse, creative gamedev community currently thrives partly because of the varied definitions of success shared amongst it’s members and if IGDASA is only championing one of those definitions then the others risk being left behind. I’m not saying that IGDASA are necessarily doing that but as a person who holds a differing definition of success, Wednesday’s event made me feel like I was on the outside, less serious and potentially dead weight to be left behind. I’m going to register as a member of IGDASA. I run a (so far unsuccessful) business and the opportunities available through that network are hugely valuable but also because IF the local chapter of the big name association that acts as our representative to government is going to be an increasingly important part of our community I feel it’s my responsibility to be an active part of these discussions as a voice letting people know that there is more than one definition of success in games, just ask Jason Stark.