Portland, OR-based artist Ryan Berkley pairs animals and stylish outfits for an awesome ongoing series entitled Well Dressed Animals. In addition to fashionable attire, each of Berkley’s creatures has its own personality, often including a profession and hobbies. One of our favorites is this handsome Pygmy marmoset who, with his red button boutonni?re, works as a tiny tailor:
“Because of his tiny stature, this pygmy marmoset learned from an early age that all of his pants would need hemming. He became so good at tailoring, in fact, he now runs the most exclusive alteration business in town. He gives discounts to most executive birds of prey to keep himself on their good side.”
I want a story about a king whose son is prophesied to kill him so the king is like “whatever what am I supposed to do, kill my own kid wtf is wrong with you” so he just raises him as normal, doesn’t even tell him about the prophecy, and instead of some convoluted twist of events that leads to the king’s murder the son grows up and when the king is very old and dying and in excruciating pain the kid is just like alright I'mma put him out of his misery.
The king’s son becomes the new king, and is prophesied to defeat evil and bring an age of prosperity. His generals and knights all crack their knuckles but he pretty much ignores them and focuses on strengthening the infrastructure of his kingdom. Forty years later he is old and sick but still hearing his subjects’ grievances, and a general’s like “how will you defeat the prophesied evil now? You’re old and weak.” Another visitor, a teenager fresh out of the kingdom’s public education system, looks at the general like he is an ignoramus. The king eradicated poverty, housed the homeless, taught the ignorant, ended class exploitation by abolishing the nobility and imprisoning the corrupt, and established a highly respected guild of doctors that recently figured out how to cure the plague. There are no brigands because there is enough wealth for everyone to live comfortably; hiding in the woods and taking trinkets from people simply doesn’t make any sense for anyone but the desperate, and the people are not desperate. Evil is a weed, explains the teenager. It grows in cracked roads and crumbling houses and forgotten corners, rooted in indifference and watered by suffering. But the king demands that broken things be mended and suffering people be made well.
No evil lives in this kingdom, says the teenager. It starved to death before I was born.
This happened and humans still think they are the only intelligent life form on earth…
I was alone in the art room and had the thought “I wonder how many stools I can get over my head”
Long story short i got stuck and the class walked in to me pathetically trying to wriggle out without being knocked over
stop reblogging this
holographic digital keyboard