Today I hit my brain’s exhaustion limit.

I was awake from my dreams when the alarm went off this morning and Damon who had been staying the night was mysteriously gone, leaving only a note in his place. I headed into work and had the special breakfast pie Emily got for me yesterday have today. I spent pretty much the whole day on the script I’ve been working on that had a deadline meeting today and up until an hour before that meeting it wasn’t writing at all but then covered the main functionality by the time the meeting rocked around which demonstrates how hard my brain was working for most of the day. In the afternoon I wrangled two separate customers to handle their setup for a particular product that I largely manage setup and resolved a situation with a grumpy client and put them back at ease. By the time I knocked off I was pretty much non-functional and just managed to make it onto the train home thanks to a hot chocolate.

At Home we went through our pile of bills and got some paid before heading off to Willunga to see Julia and Eli. Eli didn’t get home till late but that meant lovely chats with Julia which was so nice because we haven’t hung out for weeks which kinda sucked and I’d been missing our hangs. Once Eli returned we played some Mario Kart and chatted some more and then it was suddenly Eleven and time to go home to bed.

I slept light (50%)

I ate ok (65%)

I didn’t exercise (0 mins)

I didn’t meditate (0 mins)

Tomorrow in working from home and I’ll quickly realise if I’ve scheduled too much stuff for the back half of this week so that should be fun.

art-of-swords:Tibetan SwordDated 19th centuryMeasurements:... by  Vurms Vurms( )


Tibetan Sword

  • Dated 19th century
  • Measurements: overall length 88.5 cm

The sword features the typical straight, single-edged blade. The iron hilt has silver and brass decorations and a cabochon coral at the pommel. The wooden grip features silver wire binding, while the wooden scabbard is covered in green leather with silver mounts richly engraved with effigies of vine shoots on granulated ground, plus cabochon corals on the two bands.

Source: Copyright © 2016 Czerny’s International Auction House S.R.L.

WebMD Middle Ages by  Vurms Vurms( )



Q: I have, of late, felt strange pain in mine elbow

A: Prepare thy soul to be shriven, for thou hast THE PLAGUE

Try These Home Remedyes

  • take in thy hand a Scourge haveing 3 Tayles, and with it flagellate thy sinnful bodye in the publick Road, begging Mercie of God 
  • have Lesse blood
  • hast thou tried Arsenic

Was This Helpful aye | nay
36 out of 39 serfs founde thys helpfull

Today I was tired.

I think I had more weird dreams last night. Something to do with my dad screening a film about pictures of cars moving across a map? And then a man had us cut down a whole forest trying to find a werewolf but it turns out the werewolf was his wife all along and she’s the one that owns the silver sword but she’s nice so it’s ok? I know there was way more but that’s all I remember. I slept in a little and then decided today was a no makeup day to allow for extra sleeps time. When I finally went to start work though I discovered my computer wouldn’t boot so I had to go in and repair the filesystem which I’ve now got a little experience with 😒. Once my computer was working I also had to get my phone working because I hadn’t yet configured the work phone app on my new handset. Once all that was done I had to do multiple interviews with different staff members about my position in the company and also how one of our products could be used with game development which was a bit of a stretch. Once I actually got down to doing the work I was supposed to be getting done today half the day was already gone. I managed to make some good progress on the code I’m working on despite a lack of documentation for the library and api in using but not everything is finished and considering the cutoff meeting is midday tomorrow I’m worried about whether it will work but then or if we’ll just have to go to our backup solution anyway. I could have worked longer on it today and maybe made extra time but my brain was already exhausted by lunch time and the self care voice in my head would have been disapproving. I bailed and crashed on the couch for a minute before Emily and Ellen got back from a walk. We had a nice chat with Ellen and she hung around while we let BMO out for a fly. He was again quite well behaved. There was one tantrum but we’re getting so used to dealing with them now that I barely really think about it.

After we put BMO away and Ellen headed off I spent a bit of time playing Overwatch and getting wrecked while Emily did torchbearer prep. After a bit though I ended up bailing on Overwatch and taking a Panadol and having a nap because I was tired and had a headache. Once I was up again we did some testing of Emily’s Torchbearer stuff and then Emily played The Witcher 3 while I tried to work on some of my DnD stuff but started developing my headache again so eventually Emily made me stop and just snuggle her and watch. I still had a bit of the headache going by the time we joined the Sarah’s bonus post birthday hangout but I tried my best to keep engaged and the Panadol helped. It was nice to chat with Sarah and Lloyd and Claire in a less chaotic setting where we could have a real conversation and it was good to see Sarah opening the present from Emily. I do feel pretty inadequate as far as birthday presents though. The only thing I could think to give Sarah this year is a personalised rpg session because I couldn’t send her baked things because they wouldn’t survive and apparently my creative writing and drawing skills have just dried up at the moment and it makes me feel awful. I know creative block is a thing and usually that for me means I need to absorb more things for a while to get me going again, it’s the reason I haven’t got any work done on Monadnock since AVcon but Sarah is so important and beautiful and good to me that it feels a bit shit to only be able to offer my GMing skills as a gift even if i know they’re valuable because they feel like just something I do. I forget the value of the years I’ve spent honing that craft and working at being better and I feel like for my players that’s no longer something special so I feel rubbish when it’s all I have to offer. 

Anyway, the birthday chats were lovely and I only started to flag towards the end because I was falling asleep. Halfway through Damon arrived because we’d invited him to stay at ours for the night so he can work while the power is out at his place and I barely even had a proper conversation with him before having to retire to bed.

I slept lightly (45%)

I ate poorly (40%)

I didn’t exercise (0 mins)

I didn’t meditate (0 mins)

Tomorrow is my long work Wednesday and I just want to get all the work things done by their respective deadlines but I’m not sure how realistic that is. We shall see.

Today I just cruised.

Apparently I didn’t sleep real well last night and woke Emily up with some weird noises which I later recalled was my effort to shoo away the super a creepy Jim Henson Darth Vader who was bothering my bird babies in my subtly terrifying Dark Crystal inspired Star Wars nightmare. That combined with the crispness of the morning did not encourage me to leave the bed but I managed to make it up and to work on time anyway. At work I had a lot to try and keep on top of. I’m starting to think that I might have let my workload pile up around me a little at this point. I finished up at two and jumped on the first train home ignoring the bed for lunch which didn’t help the anxiety that had been gnawing at me all afternoon. I grabbed a Freddo with my petrol on the way home to get some sugar in me and then got home and cuddled my wife. It was a peaceful afternoon and I thought I wanted to do something creative but I don’t have anything my brain is prepped to work on currently and my drawing skills and I are currently having a tiff so instead I decided to continue on with my current absorption stage if my creative synthesis cycle and played through some more of Ratchet and Clank before switching over to Overwatch after dinner. Half the time though my brain’s on Matrix and wishing people would get on board so I can chat with them in wonderful decentralised hippy land but I recognise that at the moment for most people it just looks like JustAnotherChatService without any killer end user features beyond feeling smug about not using a corporate product. My Little hippy heart has just felt hopeless for so long and so now, seeing this thing working it’s had the spark of Hope reignited and I’m wide eyed and rosy cheeked but also scared of the pain of seeing that hope go nowhere again.

I slept pretty poorly (40%)

I ate probably too little (60%)

I didn’t exercise (0 mins)

I didn’t meditate (0 mins)

Tomorrow working from home so hopefully I can make something productive out of my afternoon.

Today I tried to relax for the week ahead.

I slept in till ten and then Emily made pancakes for breakfast and we had a little sit and chill before I had my shower. By the time I was clean dressed, made up and ready to day it was half past midday. I put on my shoes and jacket, loaded up an episode of Campaign Podcast and went for a walk for the first time in weeks and it was great. When I got home we had some lunch together while chilling out and then I played some Overwatch while Emily made cake. Soon Cammi arrived with Suki and so we let BMO out for a birb date. BMO was initially really spooked by the foreign bird but after a little while he chilled out and his curiosity took over. He was pretty good today and it wasn’t much trouble print him back in his room at the end of playtime. Suki came out if her cage and hung out around the house into the evening as Damon and then Kira arrived and we call jumped on a collective hangouts call with Sarah and her family and a bunch of her friends to celebrate her birthday tomorrow. It was a super nice call but something about the fact that I often feel like I’m missing some particular social skill with that crowd and the fact that it was Google hangout which makes it all disorienting and weird and not like a normal social interaction plus the fact that I was already tried and hungry meant that I skene most of the call just trying to contain my rising levels of anxiety. It was super nice to see Sarah and all their people but I was pretty glad when the call ended because I was worried I was gonna have to excuse myself to go lie down. Damon and Emily helped me calm down though, with music and food and letting me distract myself with getting working on my personal homeserver which is super exciting to me and I want to play with it lots even though it will probably never take off. I’m just excited there’s a decent decentralised instant messaging system being developed. If you’re interested in trying out new instant messaging stuff maybe because of the way Google is treating hangouts now that allo is a thing, the protocol is and Vector is a really nice client that lets you create and account on their server really easily. You can add me if you like . After playing around with Matrix and Vector we had tasty dinner prepared by Emily, talked about our feelings a bit and then it was bed time. 

I slept late (70%)

I ate at weird times (70%)

I exercised for the first time in weeks (45 mins)

I didn’t meditate (0 mins)

Tomorrow in anxious about work but I think I can handle it. It would be nice to do some more Matrix experiments with friends