Today is BMO’s unofficial birthday. It’s been two years since I found this grease covered featherbab exhausted on a train station fence and took him home to look after him for the night.


He’s grown a lot in that time. He’s become a bigger, more colourful, terrible screeching screaming biting sky goblin but he’s also still my beautiful birbson and I love him.

Today I cruised through.

This morning we didn’t rush but still managed to not be slow. We managed to do a load of washing, play a bunch of The Last of Us and then spend the middle of the day cleaning the bedroom while it rained and listening to Court Of Swords which was rad because A) we got to watch the rain out the big glass bedroom door and B) now the bedroom is so nice and tidy for sleeps.

Once we were finished in the bedroom we had some lunch and let BMO out for a fly. I did a really good job of playing with him and handling his poor behaviour well today. Emily did an amazing job cleaning the bathroom. I am so so so looking forward to moving him into this new cage we have for him just because then the house will be slightly less of a nonsensical mess and also then he doesn’t have to be sad and lonely in the bathroom when we’re not in there playing with him or letting him out to fly. I am similarly excited for payday this week because it means we can go get shelves for the office and finally vanquish the mess that has resulted from trying to organise the terrible office pile. I’m just excited about making the house more orderly in general.

After BMO went back in his room we sat down to more Court of Swords, dinner, and then some No Man’s Sky before finally getting to go to bed in our tidy bedroom.

Tomorrow I’m at work all day but because of the public holiday for Invasion Day on Thursday I’m only in the office one day this week which is super nice of monetarily annoying.

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Today I was BMO’s bath monitor.

This morning we had a nice little sleep in and then spent some time sitting on the couch eating breakfast and looking at internet things together. Eventually I bundled myself into the shower where BMO decided that he also wanted to shower and spent ages jumping across my shoulders in and out of the shower stream getting completely soaked and having a merry old time. After my shower I took my time getting dressed and then just sitting in the sun by the window before eventually setting out for a walk. It was so nice to go for a walk and not be cold and to finally start catching up on Campaign Podcast which I’ve missed so much for the last few weeks. On my walk I did stop in at the bakery to get lunch only to be told that they don’t accept phone paywave payments anymore so I had to then walk to the service station to get cash out so I could pay for my lunch. Once I got back to the bakery I was all prepared to be grumpy and let them know it and then Daisy was super lovely and friendly and I want sure how to feel by the time I left. In the afternoon we let BMO out for a play and he was pretty nice though a little jumpy, I think because there were lots of birds flying around outside. What I wasn’t expecting was for him to have a second bath, as he usually only wants one every other day or so but apparently today was a two bath day so he soaked himself and everything and everyone around him before it was time for him to go back in his room.

In the evening I did manage to get the dishes done and then we had dinner and then snuggles all while watching vods of Adam Koebel and co playing Ryuutama with a break in the middle to video chat with Sarah and Lloyd which was nice. Eventually we managed to get ourselves up to put the electric blanket on clean sheets on the bed which we then got to climb into after a serious discussion about the new dice mechanics I’ve come up with for The Republic and whether or not they’re completely fucked.

I slept in and it was nice (85%)
I ate tasty things (70%)
I exercised on my walk (45 mins)
I didn’t meditate (0 mins)

Tomorrow I want to try and power through the day. Be productive and valuable at work and then still be helpful at the Perfect Timing rehersal/meeting in the evening.

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Today I struggled to keep my mind in check.

Work today was a real struggle. I’m having trouble getting my head around multiple new software packages that are all Java EE type stacks. I pretty much spent today learning about Cyclos and experimenting with it to learn how it’s underparts work which was heavy and slow and easy to be distracted from.

After work I headed home but my train was cancelled and in the process of being moved to another train I ended up trapped between a creepy weirdo and some noisy kids. I managed to extract myself after a few stops but it definitely rattled me for a while.

By the time I got home I was still feeling shaken so I went and had some quality cuddle time with BMO in which we took a bunch of selfies and I managed to calm down a bit. Before dinner I managed to fix some issues that had arisen with my xubuntu set up and then Emily went and got fish and chips and we watched the first episode of the new series of Game Of Thrones which I was more impressed with than I expected to be. I took a break in our watching evening to do some work on some Monadnock stuff before we sat down to watch a couple of episodes of Vikings which were rad. We were going to watch some Clone Wars after that but in the end we just ended up listening to one of Julia’s songs a lot as it inspired us so we workshopped a short film idea that was growing in Emily’s head.

I slept enough (80%)
I ate okish (55%)
I didn’t exercise (0 mins)
I didn’t meditate (0 mins)

Tomorrow I’m working from home again, hopefully I can get some good work done and feel accomplished about it.

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Today I was rescued repeatedly.

I was so tired this morning but couldn’t really sleep past 10:30 because of the light. I still managed to take forever to get through showering and getting dressed so that when Emily suggested I have the second lot of pop-tarts for breakfast it was already nearly midday. The pop-tarts were a good idea and abated the sense of terror that was growing from realising the Oneshot Podcast website was down so there was no way to get an episode of Campaign Podcast for my walk. As much as I love that Podcast I probably shouldn’t plan a day around a specific piece of media the way I plan days around my Campaign Podcast walks. After breakfast I spent some time relaxing, watching Adam Koebel talk about GMing stuf. It also occured to me that it would be unwise to spend the night at home alone this evening with my current moodiness so I texted Julia to see if they maybe wanted to hang out which later resulted in a dinner invitation because I have the best friends. I then discovered that even with the website down I could still access downloads from the one shot secret archive! I grabbed the second lost mandalore episode, bundled myself up and set out on a walk in the surprisingly brisk wind. I ended up getting bakery lunch as a part of my walk but I was so flustered by the fact that they didn’t have any of my favourite pies or any donuts left that I ended up with a chicken parmigiana pie and a mini Oreo cheesecake which were good but not really what I felt like. Plus, I totally forgot to get my pie card stamped 😫.

Once I was home and had eaten my lunch I attempted a nap but was interrupted by BMO politely letting me know he’d like to be let out. We had a really good play session in the lounge room for a while with much wrestling of tissues and dice. After a while I put the flowers I picked up on my walk in the bathroom and cleaned up in there where BMO eventually joined me. I ran a little bath for him when I was done which he thought was great fun but was running me short on time to get ready to go see people. In my rush to leave however BMO followed me out and I had to spend more time coercing him and eventually bundling him up in a towel to get him back in his room. I quickly brushed myself up and headed to Willunga.

This evening I was served a delicious pasta dinner. Got to play my favourite Boardgame with two of my favourite people and got to introduce them to One Punch Man. So good. The difference between the terrible spiral my brain can get into when left alone compared to the feeling of sharing, being heard, and understanding each other during extended conversation with people you fully respect and trust is such a powerful contrast it’s a fucking wonder that I can forget it and think “no-no I don’t need to talk to anyone about these feelings, instead I should just dwell on them longer and harder because they’re so TRUE.”

I’m just so greatful for Emily who supports me, every day, even when she’s busy or not around, for heroes like Kat who make the things I love and inspire me and for deep friends who are there when I’m struggling and are so generous with their attention.

I slept very little and at the wrong time today (15%)
I ate many sweet and enjoyable things (35%)
I exercised a whole walk in the wind (40 mins)
I didn’t meditate (0 mins)

Tomorrow I have a bunch of different errands to run in and around the city so if I get started early I should be able to cover it all.

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Today I achieved heaps and still managed to feel useless.

I woke up super early this morning and just got up and had a shower all awake-like and everything. It was impressive and weird. Once I had showered and gotten ready I headed to Willunga where I went for a intense but lovely walk with mum during which we had an awesome conversation even if we were huffing and puffing through a bunch of it.
Once we got back to my parents I fixed some IT issues they had been having and headed home.

Once I was home I managed to complete my month’s worth of job searching requirements before we had lunch and a meltdown about Emily’s Nana and her urgent need to get rid of a cabinet full of decorations Emily didn’t want to see lost. It was super stressful and dramatic and awful but in the end Julia was the fucking heronof the day and came and solved everything, helping Emily go and deal with the situation without my needing to be a part of the stress. Instead I had a nap and played with BMO for a while which was great.

Around dinner I managed to get our media server to stream to our PlayStation so now we can watch movies and TV episodes on our television which was neat. We celebrated with One Punch Man and Black Sails. I then had a freakout about how I feel like a useless game designer that doesn’t actually make anything visibly valuable and Emily took the time to comfort me and set me straight. I spent the rest of the evening working on Campaign Podcast fanart and fixing some grammar on my Alternate Humans homebrew with the help of the amazing Sarah Fletcher and her editing skills.

I slept efficiently? (75%)
I ate infrequently (40%)
I exercised a lot (60 mins)
I didn’t meditate (0 mins)

Tomorrow was going to be the cabinet pickup day but now that’s been solved I guess I’ll try to get some work done before we head into town for Womad/zoo weekend.

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Today I went shopping.

We went to get groceries first thing after breakfast this morning because we were out of BMO food and we had been given a voucher for a local butcher. Emily has been reading about Japanese food and wanting to make our food-making more efficient so we spent a lot of money on pantry stocking which was very exciting. Once we got home I had a little panic and a nap and then we headed out to do yet more shopping at Marion where Emily had a meeting. We spent too much money on frozen yogurt for lunch and less money on shoes and underwear though I only solved one of my three shoe related problems. I abandoned Emily to her meeting and headed home where I desperately tried to find somewhere that will sell me a birthday present I want to give Emily to no avail and got pretty upset about it. In the end that and watching Mirrorshades and Elementary basically took up my whole evening apart from a lovely break when I let BMO out for some play time and he was super friendly.

I slept restlessly (45%)
I ate frivolously (30%)
I exercised around a mall (15 mins)
I didn’t meditate (0 mins)

Tomorrow we’re going to see The Danish Girl at the cinema with my Mum which is an idea I’ve been looking forward to but I just wish it weren’t happening on the week where I’m off my meds and all over the fucking shop. I’m just going to have to practice my mindfulness.

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Today I helped with frustration.

I was so dead this morning but I managed to slowly get myself together enough to go visit Dad’s friend and help her with her computer issues. It ended up staying a lot longer than I expected but they were nice and I got paid so it ended up being fine. The rest of the day consisted of napping and games with little bit of time in the middle spent just chilling with BMO in his room. I had planned at getting work done but it was just too hot. At least I managed a load of laundry.

I slept poorly (35%)
I ate poorly (40%)
I didn’t exercise (0 mins)
I didn’t meditate (0 mins)

Tomorrow we have to drop off Emily’s mum at the airport really early in the morning before going to Lloyd and Sarah Fletcher’s going away party.

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Today is the 11 year anniversary of my amazing relationship with BlackwoolHoliday and as is our tradition we went for a drive and attempted to get lost which gets trickier every time. The vistas throughout our drive were amazing and we ended up in Deep Creek at the top of a hill looking out to a crystal clear view of Kangaroo Island.

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We were joined by a fluffy crow for lunch.
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And we finally got around to seeing the amazing statue of Guanyin that’s been erected at the Nan Hai Pu Tuo temple.

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And then we got to come home to our adorable feather baby!

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This my Emily. She is my favorite thing in the whole world and I love her very much.