Today I went to the movies with Emily.
I had trouble sleeping last night. I had a kind of freakout in the night feeling the new drugs really strongly in my brain and fucking hating every second of it and having some kind of panic attack which Emily helped me through and into sleep. I had the same again this morning in the shower and again Emily helped me through it like a guardian angel. Eventually Emily and I were ready to leave the house and headed out into the blessed warm day to go to the cinema. We bought cinema snacks like chumps and went and saw Bladerunner 2049 which was pretty fucking excellent even through the emotion dulling side effects of the meds I’m on afterwards we did some grocery shopping and got some candles and I had a hot chocolate while Emily had a meeting. Eventually we headed home and I noticed that same dulling effect making it hard to enjoy the music in the car on the way home.
The rest of the afternoon for me disappeared into a nap and then the evening was mostly a combination of dish washing and Court of Swords.
Tomorrow I’m gonna try working in the city and just hoping that my headspace is ok. Afterwards I’m going to see Melody in the evening but I’m really worried about being distant and weird and not being able to enjoy her company because of these drug side effects.