God, I need to fix my sleeping pattern. Late nights on the internet can be so goddamn addictive. At some point in the evening you’re distracted from what you were doing and end up trawling twitter, tumblr, reddit, facdbook, youtube, etc for “fun”. After a while you’re connecting with so much stuff; reading, listening, watching, commenting, tweeting, reblogging, remixing; you’re pretty much communing with the internet and this is all cool. This is your high but what I find is that you can ride it too long. You can start to get this feeling of desparation, I call it the fear, part of it is the feeling of the connections not being deep enough or meaningful enough or something, fuck it’s just not filling this space you’re trying to fill or you’re somehow incapable of filling it yourself even with the help of a global network of other minds who share their thoughts with you if only you had thoughts to share or a meaningful way to word them but you dont because it’s now the strange hours of the morning and the majority of your very recent history has been that internet. I’ve tried putting a concerted effort into stopping and actually doing something and I’ve tried just going to bed but both answers have been met with the incapable distracted fidgetting of a metaphysically distracted mind. I think one possible cure might be for an outsider to take away the person stuck in this late-night e-limbo and engage them in some other calming task in which they are able to connect on a human level; even something as simple as a cup of tea and some shared television? Further testing is needed for this cure. Till then I still get The Fear, as I call it in my head. Maybe I’m the only one, or maybe it’s a common symptom for those of us of a certain predisposition and schedule, or perhaps it is the presence of some malevolent sprit that wanders the tubes like Virgil or Lain. Either way I hope it’s not something you, the reader, ever have to experience.

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