There is a “trope” about how much cats hate water. There are jokes about this and it’s generally about as strong as the “cats always land on their feet” meme. But there what’s interesting and possibly a bit weird is that both memes share a some kind of attribute of semi-mysticism. We seem to think that both of these things are just part of the “unexplainable mysteries and magics” of cats.

This is an odd way to think about things; despite humanity’s pretty solid scientific understandings of cats we still attribute a sense of the unknown to them. I am well aware that cats have adapted to fuck with our heads and I think that’s what’s going on here and in the interests of not falling for their Derren Brown nonsense I’d like to take a moment to rationalise the water thing.

A cat is well known for it’s whiskers and it’s hard wired spacial awareness through it’s fur sensitivity. These are the evolved mechanisms that assist cats with hunting small prey in tight spaces and thus they are tightly wound. No wonder then that ducttaping a cat makes it wig out and try and move away from the sticky wall it feels it is pressed up against. A bath then becomes the ultimate form of this. When it is drenched it’s fur sticks to it’s skin and it’s entire body tells it “You are being crushed! From every Direction! GTFO!” which they usually attempt to do pretty quickly. I imagine its the cat equivalent of extreme vertigo. So let’s not do that to cats eh?

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