shapeshifting is the best super power because you can have any haircut any time you want, you can turn into a hotter version of yourself, you can turn into a dragon, you can turn into a robot, you can turn into a shambling mound of abstract shapes and sulk outside your estranged father’s house at night while chanting ominously about his sins,
This took a weird turn, but I’m still on board
south australia calm down on the chocolate milk
Please don’t panic, the Xenomorphs haven’t reached Earth (yet). Today the Department of Awesome Natural Wonders is checking out a fantastically freaky fungus that just happens to look like a freshly hatched alien egg. This otherworldly fungus has an equally awesome name too. Octopus Stinkorn (Clathrus archeri). Native to Australia and New Zealand and also called the Devil’s Finger Fungus, it begins its lifecycle as a sinister gelatinous white orb.
Next the fruiting body bursts forth in the form of four to eight fleshy blood-red arms. These tentacular limbs stretch out to release their
facehuggerspores as a dark olive-colored mass called a gleba.
This time-lapse video shows the devil’s fingers emerging from their ominous orb:
As its name implies, the mature flesh of the Octopus Stinkhorn is incredibly smelly. It reeks of putrid flesh, which attracts flies and other insects, whose tiny feet end up coated in sticky spores, enabling the fungus to spread and start its nightmarish lifecycle all over again.
A few hours after releasing its spores the fungus will being to disintegrate. But it’s epic rotting odor will linger in the minds of anyone who came near it.
You might be surprised to learn that the Devil’s Finger fungus is completely safe to eat. But safe doesn’t necessarily mean tasty. Considered as a food of last resort by Aborigines, according to Kuriositas the flesh tastes like rancid radish. Yum!
you’re never too fat to write a book about an antelope
Portland, OR-based artist Ryan Berkley pairs animals and stylish outfits for an awesome ongoing series entitled Well Dressed Animals. In addition to fashionable attire, each of Berkley’s creatures has its own personality, often including a profession and hobbies. One of our favorites is this handsome Pygmy marmoset who, with his red button boutonni?re, works as a tiny tailor:
“Because of his tiny stature, this pygmy marmoset learned from an early age that all of his pants would need hemming. He became so good at tailoring, in fact, he now runs the most exclusive alteration business in town. He gives discounts to most executive birds of prey to keep himself on their good side.”
I want a story about a king whose son is prophesied to kill him so the king is like “whatever what am I supposed to do, kill my own kid wtf is wrong with you” so he just raises him as normal, doesn’t even tell him about the prophecy, and instead of some convoluted twist of events that leads to the king’s murder the son grows up and when the king is very old and dying and in excruciating pain the kid is just like alright I'mma put him out of his misery.
The king’s son becomes the new king, and is prophesied to defeat evil and bring an age of prosperity. His generals and knights all crack their knuckles but he pretty much ignores them and focuses on strengthening the infrastructure of his kingdom. Forty years later he is old and sick but still hearing his subjects’ grievances, and a general’s like “how will you defeat the prophesied evil now? You’re old and weak.” Another visitor, a teenager fresh out of the kingdom’s public education system, looks at the general like he is an ignoramus. The king eradicated poverty, housed the homeless, taught the ignorant, ended class exploitation by abolishing the nobility and imprisoning the corrupt, and established a highly respected guild of doctors that recently figured out how to cure the plague. There are no brigands because there is enough wealth for everyone to live comfortably; hiding in the woods and taking trinkets from people simply doesn’t make any sense for anyone but the desperate, and the people are not desperate. Evil is a weed, explains the teenager. It grows in cracked roads and crumbling houses and forgotten corners, rooted in indifference and watered by suffering. But the king demands that broken things be mended and suffering people be made well.
No evil lives in this kingdom, says the teenager. It starved to death before I was born.
This happened and humans still think they are the only intelligent life form on earth…
I was alone in the art room and had the thought “I wonder how many stools I can get over my head”
Long story short i got stuck and the class walked in to me pathetically trying to wriggle out without being knocked over
stop reblogging this
holographic digital keyboard