Musings of a Vurms: excessunrated:ogress:um except how hilarious when your child…

Reposted Musings of a Vurms: excessunrated:ogress:um except how hilarious when your child... by Musings of a Vurms (vurms.tumblr.com)


excessunrated:

ogress:

um except how hilarious when your child says that as a 2yo in a fit of rage

I accidentally taught my son a lot of phrases like this because melodrama is one of my favourite kinds of comedy, and I didn’t realize how much of my vocabulary centers around that, but oooooh man. He thinks I am the funniest person in the world, and he is really perceptive and intelligent for a 3 year old… Once they pick up on something they feel is useful, they won’t ever forget it.

So far he has learned:

  • "Almost died." - Having experienced mild but sudden anxiety.
  • "Gone forever." - When you lose something just slightly out of reach but don’t want to put forth the effort to get it back.
  • "I am afraid of my own head." - Having scary but irrational thoughts.
  • "Did you hear it? The monsters…" - When other people aren’t paying enough attention to something important.
  • "IT HURTS. I CAN’T." - When you don’t want to be responsible.
  • "I can’t, I’ll die." - When you don’t want to eat something.
  • "Goodbye, everyone." - Hiding for a short period of time, or leaving the room quickly to go get something.
  • "I NEED IT. I MUST." - When you don’t want to do something, and are procrastinating by suddenly remembering/inventing small but urgent tasks.
  • "IT’S OKAY, CALM DOWN, I GOT THIS." - I can help/I can do it myself.
  • A very large collection of growls, snarls, roars, rasping whispers, horror-movie screams, and zombie groans.

spligitmoose: zestinpeace:purupurupikopuyo:zestinpeace:australian culture is a perfect breeding ground for…

Reposted spligitmoose: zestinpeace:purupurupikopuyo:zestinpeace:australian culture is a perfect breeding ground for... by spligitmoose (spligitmoose.tumblr.com)

zestinpeace:

purupurupikopuyo:

zestinpeace:

australian culture is a perfect breeding ground for shitposters?

image

even the founder of 4chan thinks we shitpost too much?

holy fucking shit

Musings of a Vurms: goddamn-morons:mad-maddie:kindergraph:comic sans knows shes not suited for the world of dignified…

Reposted Musings of a Vurms: goddamn-morons:mad-maddie:kindergraph:comic sans knows shes not suited for the world of dignified... by Musings of a Vurms (vurms.tumblr.com)

goddamn-morons:

mad-maddie:

kindergraph:

comic sans knows shes not suited for the world of dignified and professional type and shes all torn up about it so she turns herself into the class clown so nobody examines her flaws too closely but if u spend enough time with her u get to see underneath the surface and understand her insecurities and ur love will give her enough newfound self confidence to embrace her weaknesses and reinvent herself

YO

wh…whoa.

spligitmoose: beantown-blood:saepefidelis:buck-nekkid:badmecha007:annies-b…

Reposted spligitmoose: beantown-blood:saepefidelis:buck-nekkid:badmecha007:annies-b... by spligitmoose (spligitmoose.tumblr.com)


beantown-blood:

saepefidelis:

buck-nekkid:

badmecha007:

annies-booobs:

tits-mcgeek:

not-pizza:

My idol

This will never not be funny.

a hero for the ages

Give this man a medal.

Goals

I read this every time I see it

He deserves a NAM

spligitmoose: frontier-heart:transwomanifesto:socialistexan:I’ve really about…

Reposted spligitmoose: frontier-heart:transwomanifesto:socialistexan:I’ve really about... by spligitmoose (spligitmoose.tumblr.com)


frontier-heart:

transwomanifesto:

socialistexan:

I’ve really about had enough.

First I’m watching Bob’s Burgers, good Tina episode, but I just couldn’t keep watching when I figured out the story revolved around Bob being a pimp for trans woman to make money. So I said fuck it, let’s try a different show, HIMYM is pretty benign, how about that. Nope, first joke was Ted making sure a woman that was hitting on him didn’t have a penis. Okay, slightly annoyed, I pick a random episode of American Dad, because why not it’s a serviceable show at worst, but nope. This was the newspaper gag.

I just… Three in a fucking row. And people keep trying to insist that “I’m just looking for these things they can’t be everywhere!” It is! Community, Futurama, actually pretty much everything on Comedy Central, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, 30 Rock, it’s fucking everywhere. It’s inescapable unless you’re watching directly queer-targeted media, and even then we’re usually still a punch line or a reason for a skinny white gay man to snap and say “hay gurl”.

You, the people out there that talk all this shit about “oh ~twanz people complain so much it can’t be that bad”, just don’t notice it because that’s the only way trans women have been presented to you: we’re either fat, ugly, hairy, man-ish yet somehow genderless blobs in a dress “haha point and laugh”-types, or we’re sex workers. Usually both. (also avert your eyes and make a startled noise, poor you having to lay eyes on such an undesirable.)

Transmisogyny/phobia…it’s errwhere… ?Basically every mainstream show.

FACTS.